24 May 2011

I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.

I'm thinking about life tonight; the big stuff, the life altering doctor visits I've experienced over the years, the different verdicts of diagnosis that have blanketed my ears and the lumps they have all left in my throat. I'm thinking about how one smile from Sookie changes my whole outlook. I'm thinking about how she knows more about life than I do. I'm thinking about how I am proud as a peacock that she is this outstandingly perfect blend of both of best and boldest traits and that someone filled with that breed of blindingly bright light will no doubt do big things not only for others but in her own life. She is our little rock star.

It gets hard sometimes to keep up with this blog when I have health obstacles; it is all I can do to make sure Little Miss's needs are met, that I'm being gentle with my own soul so I can feel better, and that I'm kind of sort of a little bit staying on top of household duties. I always want to be real here but I also wish to always be radiating sunshine, which isn't always the case. It is an exercise in balance. So there is that; I've been utterly exhausted and experiencing weird circulation issues in my legs and hands; it feels like someone is pouring cold water on my legs, my veins feels like they are on fire too and I'm pushing doctors until someone can find out what is going on. You would think I would be used to this type of advocating for myself by now, but in all honesty, it gets so old. I was very upset yesterday but I think I need to find some inner peace and hope this is simply another bump in my medical journey, as opposed to a mountain.

The above quote is one of favorites of all time; particularly happy girls are the prettiest girls. The other day R came home and I think the second he walked in the door he knew I was having a not so wonderful day. We decided to have a little family date of dinner and a trip to Target. I attempted to do something with my hair and became incredibly frustrated with my baby bangs that just don't want to cooperate. I might have thrown a temper tantrum that could rival a three year old's. And do you know what Sookie did? She softly placed a hand of hers on each side of my face, cupped my chin with her wrists, and babbled some oh so eloquent sounding syllables. I laughed. I cried. It was as if she was telling me to calm down and stop getting so riled up over something so silly as hair. I drew from it an "it is okay momma." And wham, just like that I'm cradling her, rubbing her back, kissing her sweet head and embracing her wise almost 16 month old heart that is always looking above and beyond the little annoyances of life to the big joys and simultaneously letting her hands swim in the beauty of the every day.



  1. It is amazing the healing affect two little baby hands can have, isn't! I love that quote, I have never seen it before, but I too belive it! Thanks for the reminder to enjoy what we have. I hope you are feeling better soon and I wish you lots more baby kisses today!

  2. How amamzing and perseptive are children! They often know much more about what's going on then we think they do! Great quote!

  3. Beautiful post... Small joys like this are something I too often overlook.

  4. What a precious story, babies are so amazing!

  5. lovely post. babies can open us to life if we let them. peace.

  6. awww that is so precious.

    and yea happy girls are indeed pretty girls :) xx

  7. Beautifully written as always!

    You are such a wonderful writer, and an inspiration to us all.

    And.... yes.... I also believe in miracles (just like Audrey). And angels too. :)

  8. I am sorry that you are dealing with health issues and that the doctors haven't found what you have yet. I know first hand what you are dealing with. I have been sick for over 2 years and saw so many specialists, I was so tired of them not knowing how to treat me and some even said it was all in my head. Finally I went to the University of WA this past October and found the Neurologist that did know what I had. It is called Dysautonomia, POTS, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. The description you wrote about your veins feeling like they are on fire and the cold sensation to your legs are part of the symptoms of this disorder. I am not saying you have this condition, but you may want to check Dinet to see if you have these other symptoms. Not many doctors know about this, but for sure a Neurologist is the one to deal with this condition. Best of luck and you are blessed to have your little girl in your life. ~Lisa

    Your newest follower from VoiceBoks!~Lisa
    I am all a twitter about life

  9. Can I borrow Sookie on my bad hair days?

  10. wow, I stopped by to give you a shout out from ftlob and your nomination and fell in LOVE with this blog!!! I am a new follower. I felt an immediate connection. My middle daughter has your name only we spell it, Tawni. :) I too, have had health issues (not like yours, but health issues just the same) and I try to blog about the happy things in life....so I love your blog and cannot wait to read more!!!!

    good luck sweetie on the blog nomination too!

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  12. I love this quote. I've posted it on my blog and 'pinned' it on pinterest many tmes. Love this entry :)