18 December 2010

Jumbled Thoughts (December 17th Edition)

A funeral (my great-uncle). Feeling dizzy. Family photos. Deadlines. Ordering Christmas cards. Pier 1 for a fun little event. Chipotle. Christmas shopping for Sook. A play date. Kneaders.

That is a list of my week in events.

In emotions? Well, it might go like this...

Grateful. Sad. Heartbroken for others heartache experienced this year. Thankful. Full. Bliss. Basking in Sookie and all of her wonderfulness. Everything in between.

I've found myself getting lost in stories of other's trials this week. The losses. The unbelievable pain. Sweet Scarlette who was born at 26 weeks.

How do I still worry about laundry? And leftover cheerios on Sookie's sweet cheeks?

I keep going back to this week a year ago. The start of non-stress tests, the night in labor and delivery, thinking she was coming at 32 weeks. Which, even then, a milestone I didn't think we would make it to see! I snapped this photo of my contractions and her heart rate because my dad pointed out that it kind of looked like she was trying to spell out "Mama". Which of course I went along with. After crying for a few minutes.

I've been practicing the art of gratitude this year more than ever. And yet I still fall and get twisted into the shallow aspects. It always takes something exceedingly tragic to pull me back out of the darkness. To remind me that the fact Sookie is here, that her heart is beating and that she is healthy is bigger than anything else. But I don't want to have to be reminded. I want to be so zen with the world that I don't care if my house is a mess, or if my Christmas decorations aren't perfect, or if I've put on makeup for the day.

It is a silly goal but it is all about the balance.

And how cute does she look while teasing Jack and wearing my Metropolitan Mix Chain Necklace?
If you still need some gifts you can get 20% off at my Stella & Dot shop and receive your order in time for Christmas if you order by December 22nd. Just pay regular shipping and you will receive a free upgrade to priority shipping. Use coupon code SHARE10 for the 20% off. How fabulous is that?

I'm thrilled for this weekend; seeing lots of family and finally seeing Deathly Hallows. What are you up to?