23 September 2010

Failure (& Sugar)

It has been a weird day around here. Actually the whole week has been. Sookie is currently, believe it or not, taking a nap. (Gasp) The girl slept fabulously for the first 7 months of her life and now, it is just so difficult to rock her into a peaceful slumber. Have I mentioned I love our video baby monitor? Because I do. It allows me to tell that part of me that is the constant worrier to relax. I think because it is sweet to be able to watch her little tummy go up and down with each tiny breath she takes. I'm downstairs, listening to some tunes (Sugarland, Tegan & Sara, Ryan Adams, Lucinda Williams), having a snack, (see below) and working on making a new header for my Stella & Dot Blog.

Yes, hello sugar coma. And cavities. The funny thing is, I did not like sugar at all until after my transplant. Now I want to swim in it; especially since the pregnancy. I figure if I'm having so much pain and trouble with my gallstones, even when I eat only once a day and low fat, well then why not just drink Diet Coke and live on candy corn and frosted animal cookies? (Sounds like perfectly sensible plan, right?) Ha. I'm so frustrated and annoyed with doctors today that I just.don't.care. It is my body and I will fill it with sugar if I want to.

Completely changing subjects here...

Once upon a time I was a girl going to college and I didn't know what I wanted to major in. Once upon a time I thought my calling in life was to be a journalist. I am still in love with words and am always trying to express those precious moments in life I never want to forget, but I quickly decided that my career path in life was something very different. Fast forward through graduating college with a Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Studies with a Child Life emphasis, 4 years of being a nanny, and a good year plus volunteering at Primary Children's Medical Center. Oh, but I'm still not even close to doing what I thought was my dream job.

A little background, Child Life Specialists help families and children to cope with the stress and anxiety of the health care environment. Most of the time they work with children who are admitted to the hospital, but they also work with children on an outpatient basis as well as in dentist offices, etc. They receive an extensive education in Child Development and the many facets as to how different aspects of the medical world will effect all of the developmental stages.

And the funny thing is, something happened in May that I perceived to be one of the biggest failures of my career. However, armed with time and a different outlook, I now see that it was the best possible outcome of the circumstances. I worked so hard to get where I am today, and even though I am not going to work every day to a job that I went to school for, I know that none of it was a waste. And this is not me justifying going to school to be a mom. That was never my plan. Obviously I never in a million years thought I would be a mother. Hence, the career obsession and hard work. But of course life never turns out the way you thought it would. I will still do something with all that I learned in school, but it might just be in a completely unconventional way than opposed to what I thought I was born to do.