13 August 2010

Seven years ago

Seven years ago today my beloved Grandma K went to heaven and I was in New York seeing the best Hanson show I've ever seen in my life. (& believe me, I've been to many of them!) This makes me sound like a horrible, snotty, careless girl, except I had no idea she was going to leave us and I was just out skipping across the country doing silly things like going to concerts and living my life.

I know many times we never know when our loved ones are going to leave us, but I honestly felt safe in getting out of town. She had been through heart surgery a few months prior to this; all went well and she was doing great! How was I supposed to know she was going to leave us while I slept on the streets of New York with cockroaches?

That actual day was such a bizarre one. She passed that morning but my mother (who sometimes tries too hard to overprotect me from reality and the world), didn't tell me until after the show was over that night, because she didn't want to ruin anything. Bless her heart. The thing is, I thought maybe I just saw that show as being one of their best because I knew what heartbreak I would be facing after the final note was played. But, I wasn't the only one who has claimed that has been one of their best shows ever to date.

My grandma was so much more to me than just a grandma. She was a second mom, an aunt I confessed and confided in, a best friend I gossiped and cried with, an older and wiser sister I would never have.

She took on the tumultuous task of caring for me after my kidney transplant. Not only did she take it on, she took it on with such grace and ease. My mom needed to rest and recuperate herself, so it ended up working out really well for everyone. I needed a tremendous amount of care in the months that followed my surgery and being able to stay at my grandparent's was almost as good as being able to be in my own house.

Of course I miss her every day, and sometimes wonder why she isn't and can't be here to see the joy in my eyes as I watch my daughter figure out her place in this world. And yet I cling tightly to the notion she (along with my other guardian angel) had a lot to do with the fact Sookie and I both survived the pregnancy. (And the kidney too!)