Pockets of Joy

My pockets of joy lately?

I watched The Royal Wedding.
Live.

Why?
My hips felt like they were on fire. (Yes, still, no relief in site. It makes me feel...well yeah. Let's not go there.) I couldn't sleep comfortably. I had my own little princess sleeping soundly in her bed and I want her to grow up remembering to celebrate things instead of criticizing or complaining about them. I don't necessarily want her childhood to be a cascade of ridiculous notions about a prince coming to save her, I would like to instill the knowledge she is strong enough to save herself. I know these words and my actions might not make sense, but they do a perfect dance in my own nonsensical head.

Feeling inspired by the snow on Saturday morning instead of whining about it. Letting the delicious veggie omelet I threw together with mushrooms and tomatoes further fuel my gratefulness for snow in April. Hey, there are worse things in the world. Our day was filled with tiny nuggets of bliss, a quiet house, a napping babe, relishing in every last word of 'Real Simple' magazine while R did some work for Appdicted.

Sookie deciding to take 4 1/2 hours worth of naps on Saturday was revolutionary. This is a day that should be marked down in history. This is the same little one who has had such a hard time with naps for so long. She's getting into a new phase and the fact I'm reveling in it and sharing on the blog will probably mean she will be back to one twenty minute nap next week.

Our little family date of going to the pet store, dinner at Rumbi, and a trip to Target. She is quite the little wiggle worm lately and oh boy I was glad for R's help at Target. I found a cutesy polka dot shirt for $7. Score. Shallow? Yes. Very much so. But score nonetheless.

This laugh:



We call it her George Bush laugh. I think it is the greatest.

Yes, I have way too many shampoo and conditioner bottles in my shower. It is a problem. We will talk about it in a later post. Of course it has nothing to do with the fact I like to be in control and have a million different choices available to me at any given moment. ;)

These are the microscopic things and sometimes the not so microscopic things I cling to when the earth seems too harsh for my spirit.

Sookie wishes you a happy Monday...
& also, peace, love, & camo.
(according to her hat)
(I'm not a fan of pink camo, but Poppa bought it and he was so overcome with such a child-like high to give it to her, I simply had to oblige.)

November 2010 Goals Revisted/December Goals

(My fabulous friend Clare is the inspiration behind these goals of the month posts.) 

My November goals:

My November Goal is...to be happy. Yep that's it. I'm not stressing about pleasing everyone for Thanksgiving, I'm not obsessing about how clean my house is, or how much laundry I have to get done. I'm stealing smiles from my little girl. I'm not going to worry about my health. I'm just going to be happy, dang it!

I feel as though I'm doing a little better with this. That or I failed miserable at all of the above. One of the two. Of course I'm not always going to be carefree every minute of every day and completely forget about mundane things like laundry, and I think I'm always going to worry about my health, but that is life. Clare talked about this on her blog a little while ago and I realized if I was living my life as my perfect self, I would need 70 plus hours in a day. Not going to happen. I've come to the conclusion I always seem to struggle with balance. This has been a theme in my life ever since I can remember, why should it stop now that I've become a mother? I have this little theory that motherhood tends to magnify, intensify, and play on every personal issue and insecurity you had before you became a mom. I always want to be doing better, more, and quicker; but all with a smile on my face, love in my heart, and energy bursting from my veins.

  

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My December goals I realize need to be more tangible, measurable.  However, can I simply say peace.joy.love and be done with it?

Okay, I won't.

December goals:

Be a duck.

This is R's wisdom and my Dad's as well. There are both very zen individuals and honestly I need to start living life like both of them. The idea is to be a duck, and let everything people say just roll off my back so to speak. This is a grand idea in theory, but I'm an incredibly sensitive person and situations are complicated more by the details of exactly who is saying what about me. But really it should not matter. I have enough to worry about.

Re-read 'The Four Agreements'.

This book has some revolutionary ideas and is an eye opener, yet I find it difficult to truly practice it and live it out on a day to day basis. Goes back to the 'Be a duck' goal, that directly related to the agreement of 'Don't take everything personally', which I always do. The other three agreements are, 'Be Impeccable with Your Word', 'Don't Make Assumptions', and 'Always Do Your Best'. (Note to self: write an entire post dedicated to this book.) 

Donate clothes I don't wear anymore.

This is a big one. I like clothes. I like clothes a lot. I tire of them very quickly, but I tend to hang on to items I haven't worn in years simply because of the memories attached to them. I must convince myself the memories don't go away if the clothes are gone. Brilliant.

Peace.Joy.Love.

Yes, practice these three every day. In abundant quantities. Don't get caught up in the stress of the holidays. Focus on the fun, the good, the hope. Celebrate how much better Christmas is going to be this year, than it was last year. (Last year, three days before Christmas, after a scheduled non-stress test and an unscheduled ultrasound, they told us Sookie's left ventricle in her heart was measuring small.) I was devastated and had many ups and downs on Christmas.