07 October 2011

stay foolish

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ... Stay hungry. Stay foolish." 
Steve Jobs
-- Stanford University commencement address, June 2005.

this man had a monstrous impact on my life.

yet i've never met him.

yesterday i made mental notes to remember how grounding the rain was, how excited i was to wear a pair of boots for the first time in a long while, the elation i felt picking out cheap fall crafts at hobby lobby with my girl, and the way ryan adams' songs jump into my veins and make themselves at home.

and then i heard the news about steve jobs.

this man, this absolute stranger, has blessed my family in a way that was life changing. because of his tenacity to attack his dreams, my sweetie was able to as well. there is nothing bigger than that. my daughter is in a place where daddy can spend a weekday morning with us and doesn't have to answer to a boss. he is not only working on his own terms, he is living on them as well. and oh hell yes, it was scary making that leap with him. but where we are now as a family? it is !@#$%^&* amazing. we have freedom. we have creativity bursting at every corner. we have daddy home for more than 48 hours a week. yes my medical expenses still tower over us, but we built our lives from the ground up, with dreams, with homemade love, with good old fashioned hard work. oh it got messy at times, everything might have been covered in dirt; but now? we're living life out loud with no erasers, no regrets, no dress rehearsals.

this speech of steve jobs' makes me turn everything around and want to write my memoir. right now. yesterday. a month ago. a year ago even.

what am i afraid of? what is holding me back? harsh criticism? not telling things the way they happened? sugar coating things? painting everything shades of gray? talking about the tragedy of losing my sister; something i touch on here and there on the blog, but not the way i want.

i think my two biggest fears are that a) no one will read it or b) i won't ever tell it.

rory reminds me all the time i need to tell my story.

...and you know steve is right. we all are dying, that is the final destination we all have in common. a thread that wraps us together, beyond our differences. fate doesn't pick who will die and who won't, she makes timelines that echo roller coasters where some precious and innocent souls will never get to walk into their first steps, while others float into their 90th year right alongside their childhood sweetheart.

which leads me to ask:
what do you want to do with this one wild and precious life?


i'm on a mission to get into the top 20 for the 17th anniversary of my kidney transplant on october 18th. lofty? yes. but i've taken on lofty and won before. (wink)
would you vote for us? all you have to do is click the banner below and click the owl on the left. thank you SO much. when you do, please either email me or leave a comment and let me know how i can repay the favor. kindness is contagious.

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  1. I LOVE this post. Thank you for that reminder. I definitely agree that we need to live each day treating it like the precious gift that it is. I don't think I really internalized that until I read 7 Habits. Once I realized what was most important to me, it puts every risk into perspective. Every risk is worth it, if it is for what you really, truly value.

  2. Love this post, and it makes me smile that the ad underneath it is for MacKeeper. How appropriate. :)

    I voted for you btw. :)

  3. I am truly inspired by your story. One of the most beautiful things in life to witness or encounter are individuals who live life by taking risks. Risks that are good and make no sense to anyone around is. Thank you for reminding me of that. I voted for you. I wouldn't mind a follow (my blog is so new!) but no pressure or anything. :) Thanks for allowing us to witness your life and the good things that come from persistence and hopeful expectancy.
    Blessings, Stephanie

  4. What a great perspective from Steve Jobs! I think you should share your story with us :). It might be scary but who knows who you'll bless?!

  5. What You Waiting For? has always been my favorite solo Gwen Stefani song because underneath all the beats, posturing and superficiality is a real message that you've got nothing to lose when you aim high & risk big. Write that memoir. I will be the first in line to read it. xoxo.

  6. You already know that I look forward to reading what you have to say each day and how I look forward to your visits. Sry that half of the time I am ailing but the other half is so precious. Love you

  7. I think the example of how many people you already have reading your blog is indicative of how many people would LOVE reading your memoir. And it's obvious you already have the writing talent. Having the time? Maybe not so much, but don't be TOO hard on yourself about it. You will get it done. <3 Love this post, and love you!

  8. I love your blog, but have only been following for a few months, though when I started I read back a ways because just reading one wasnt enough :) I am interested to hear more about your sister's story and about yours, and about how you take each day by day it is very uplifting. I def voted for your blog and will do it each day when I sit down and read your blog :) You should not be afraid to write your story, I am very intrigued and wished I had the book to read already!

  9. love love LOVE! of course i will vote for you! so glad i stumbled upon your blog! too cute! can't wait to catch up on the rest of your posts! ♥

  10. I voted for you :) Loved this post too.