13 June 2014

Choose Happy

I have been running around basically non-stop all day and as a result, I'm about to fall into bed and promptly asleep the minute my head hits the pillow. However, I miss this space and the words I capture to document this crazy life. Therefore, here I am.

When you are living with a disease with no cure, I feel like you have two choices. You can roll over and give up. Or you can figure out what truly makes you come alive, what ignites your heart, what your non-negotiables consist of. You can take each day you are given and cradle it in your hands like the miracle it is. You can decide if your dreams are big enough to scare you, and then hunt them down anyway. You can be grateful for where you are, and yet still want more. You can cherish the fact you have medication available to you, even if it does make you feel like you are going through chemo. You can work your ass off to appear like that swan who is effortlessly gliding across the water, meanwhile intensely aware of the sacrifices and blood, sweat, and tears that all happen below the surface. You can make memories, plans, and build the life you've always daydreamed about.

With that said, tonight I'm grateful for new cozy towels in the dryer, the fact that Sookie's ballet recital is in a few days, there are organic gummy bears in the kitchen (Hooray for a Whole Foods about 10 minutes away from us now!) and the fact my best friend will be here in about 8 hours. 

Also? Tonight Sookie was wishing on stars and told me she would make a wish for me. I told her that was kind of her and I trusted her to know what I would wish. Her request for me? Sweet tea and a unicorn. Yep, she knows her momma well...doesn't she?

Brilliantly explosive joy. All this AND a stellar kidney that has worked for me for 19 1/2 years? Thank you. Happy, thank you, more please.