04 December 2013

We Must Dare To Show Up

These past few days I'm getting better at stopping to drink in the moment and snap a photo. Capturing our sweet slice of joy mixed in with the ordinary. I've discovered when you grasp the magic and hold on for a few seconds, it transforms anything to beyond typical.

There are many changes I want to make as we close up this year and embark on the next. Showing up is my way of being held responsible with what I choose to follow. Sometimes the most difficult thing in the world is simply staying true to your authentic self. There is so much pulling you away and trying to distract you from who you really are.

Today? Today I feel good with the knowledge I can say I showed up. I showed up when Sookie wanted to go play outside in 12 degree weather because "My tummy is hot and I need to eat some snow to make it feel better." At 8 a.m. no less. (Wink.)

I showed up when my nerves were getting the better of me over worry over what is going on with our sweet dog Jack, ballet related issues we were having with Sook, and my CT scan that was this afternoon. I stress ate. Or ate stress, however you want to look at it. ;) I cleaned. I washed my hair. I vacuumed. I braided my hair in pigtail braids, because I never wear my hair like that. People are really nice to me when I wear my hair like that though. Probably because they think I am 11 years old. I blasted Christmas songs and made ornaments with our girl. Our girl who reminds me the light in this world is so much more abundant than the dark. And we must choose it. Over and over and over and over, we must choose the light. No matter how deceptive the dark can be.

So I dared to show up for mommy things and wife things and general being an adult type of things. I went to the Huntsman Cancer Institute for my CT scan and made morbid jokes with Rory in the elevator. (Oh you're dying, but LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUSLY BEAUTIFUL ELEVATOR!) The view up there was outstanding. Even if some of it was Utah smog.

Things were going great. I was hanging out horizontally waiting for them to put me through the whirring machine, mentally going over my gratitude list for that moment. Right after I thought to myself, hey at least I don't have to have an IV today... The sweet nurse gal popped in and said, We are actually going to give you the contrast and need to start an IV. Awesome.

The great part about this is that I had lightning fast results on my kidney function because they wanted to make sure it was within "normal range" (hahahaha) before they did the contrast.

The woman who did my IV was not so skilled with needles, but reminded me of the girl mouse from Cinderella. As a result, I spent the rest of the day with do the dishes and the moppin' they always keep her hoppin' going around my head.

I'm waiting on results now, but I'm okay with whatever they are. I'm in a good place and while I don't exactly know why that is, I'm going to ride it out for all it is worth.


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