06 December 2013

Breathing In The Light

our sweet girl, so full of light

Yesterday afternoon I sat on the couch, listening to the first call from the 2013 Stratejoy Holiday Council, headphones in, heart on, coaxing my stresses to stay at bay for one little hour. Sookie was napping and Jack (who had a rough morning at the vet) was resting. I was smack in the middle of taking deep breaths, telling myself I was breathing in all things lovely and light and beautiful and healing, when an incoming call cut through the one I was listening along with. It was my nephrologist calling about my CT scan.

I've been incredibly nervous at this scan. I was shaking at the hospital when filling out all the paperwork. I usually don't do this anymore when it comes to anything with my health adventures. How quickly my (sometimes complicated) medical life can be the actual simplicity I long for when all of this lymphoma stuff starts to come up again. It is great how quickly you can cherish what you have when a whole new layer of obstacles hangs in the air over your head. Suddenly, eye drops and constant nausea from meds seem like a cakewalk. Because that is your normal. ;)

My thyroid looked great on the scan. The lymph nodes they were concerned about didn't look suspicious. They are not even large or swollen enough to the point they could biopsy them. This is incredible news! I started crying happy, grateful tears as soon as the call was over. No biopsy. No more immediate visits to Huntsman Cancer Institute. No more what ifs swirling in my mind on that subject. Next week I see an endocrinologist. Then on the 15th I fly to D.C. for a few days of tests at the NIH. I'm blessed. Oh so very blessed.

The past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions and this wonderful news was extremely welcome. Better yet? A scary trip to the vet for Jack (our dachshund) resulted in the best case scenario and we are so happy he is home with us, resting and on the mend. He ended up having an internal bruise that started swelling and it grew so big they can to drain it. We were concerned it was his prostate because of the location of the mass (near his behind) and his age. (Jack, I love you. I apologize for discussing the state of your prostate on the blog.) He's home, on some antibiotics and doggie steroids and resting a lot when he can sneak away from Sook. I'm home with good results and I feel like I can breathe for a few days and soak in all the good. You know how sometimes things can happen to wake you up to how thankful you are for the imperfectly perfect state of your life? Like, if anything threatens to change it or upheave it (I was worried about losing Jack and horrible results from my CT that would set in motion a whole slew of events I didn't think I could handle) you automatically long for the messes you know, because you see them in a whole new perspective? Yeah. That. ;)