08 July 2010

5 months - Dear Sookie

Dear Sookie,

You are five months old now and mommy can't quite believe it. In some ways it feels like you have been a part of my life forever, and in other ways it seems like I found out I was pregnant yesterday. Time is a tricky concept, but you will soon learn that for yourself. Every day you change and it is as though you are learning something new each minute. I love to just sit and watch you figure out how to maneuver your hands to grasp a toy, or pull your knees under your belly in your early attempts to launch into crawling.

You make each day a new adventure and I am so happy for that. Mommy was a nanny for many years before you came along and I knew then that motherhood was the most difficult job in the universe. I am learning that more than ever these days, but I am oh so grateful for this time with you. I know I am very lucky I have been able to stay home with you for 5 delightful months. I'm always wondering if I am making the best choices for you. I try my best to cater my parenting to suit your needs and make sure it fits your personality and temperament.

I find myself getting excited for all of your milestones coming up; solid food, crawling, talking, walking. However I stop myself and take mental snapshots of every little quiet time and flash of where you are now. It is so important to learn how to be in the moment and that is something you are helping mommy truly work on.

I worry about you a lot. Daddy says I worry too much, but that is always something I have been good at doing. I don't want you to worry as much as I do. I want you to go for what you want in life and in love. I want you to be yourself, no matter who that is and not listen to anyone else who thinks they know what is best for you. Only you know what you need to do. I want you to love with every fiber of your being and not worry about getting your heart broken. The joy really is in the ride, sweetheart. I want you to only concentrate on making yourself happy and not care about others or their opinions of you.

Above all else, I want you to remember you are a true miracle. You are living and breathing proof that the impossible is never worth giving up on.