to help combat this, i turn things inside out and remind myself what my story can often look like from someone viewing it beyond the borders.
from the outside, we surely looked like a disaster of a family at barnes and noble tonight.
from the outside, we were a little family of three at the bookstore. from the outside i'm sure several people made the judgement i was a teenage mom, due to my short stature and delicate baby face. from the outside, i was a momma who looked exhausted beyond all measure, no makeup, hair thrown back into a messy bun. a way too cute headband plunked on top of the haphazard strands, in an effort to regain a piece of my once always perfectly accessorized self. from the outside, sookie was a curious toddler running around, creating havoc in every corner she landed, ac/dc shirt, red pants, mismatched striped pink and teal sweatshirt and crazy red hair falling in her eyes approximately every 2.3 seconds.
from the inside? from the inside we are a family who has already beat so many odds, but that doesn't mean it gets easier to accept the tough news. from the inside we are a strong family who knows how boundless love is and how many oceans we would swim through in order to get to each other. from the inside we are a family who is tired. a family who spent the better part of their week at NIH trudging through test after test after test. from the inside, i am a momma who looks very young, but had to grow up quickly. a momma who has been thinking about her own mortality since she was four years old. a momma who wants nothing else in the universe than to be able to protect her daughter forever. from the inside there is a toddler who can sense her momma's fear and showers her in hugs and an abundance of kisses. from the inside, i can tell you that rory is the most incredible man i will ever meet; a daddy who goes above and beyond at every opportunity he gets and a life partner who never signed up for any of this, but who jumps feet first into whatever life has next for us, loving me through it all with a fierceness so tender, it makes me ache.


