In Like A Lamb

I'm currently watching American Idol and finishing off the Valentine's chocolates I bought for myself; because sometimes you just have to stop and indulge in trivial pieces of this little planet.

Nothing earth shatteringly terrible happened today, but it was a day in which every small thing added up to a bad mood and a frustrated momma who feels like a failure.Three things, I just told myself I needed to focus on 3 things today; cleaning up, laundry, and packing. But as always, in the land of motherhood, sometimes three things are too many.

My patience hit the ceiling when it was around four thirty and I had only finished two loads of laundry and little Miss S had slept a grand total of twenty minutes since nine thirty. I was attempting to trick her with cuddles in our bed because she was in the oh so sweet and yet aggravating hyper tired mood that blankets her often lately.

I let out a big sigh and an annoying facebook status update that both encapsulated my exasperation and do you know what my wise beyond her years daughter did? She looked up at me with her big blue eyes as open and limitless as the skies...and stuck her toes in her mouth. As if to say, "Alright, mom...I get the house looks like a bomb exploded. I get you are grumpy with exhaustion. I get that you have about ten more loads of laundry to do. I get that I haven't slept and I want you to hold me every minute. I get that you need to pack. HOWEVER, I'm putting my toes in my mouth so adorable like and one day you will look back and miss moments like these even if the day is taking it's toll on your sanity. So... stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop being so hard on yourself and be present in the moment, even if there are remnants of your insecurities and your crappy sleep deprived mood."

Yes, she has the power to convey such inspirational nuggets with just one glance.

Yesterday she turned 13 months. The warm air was tempting us, March was blessing us with a calm and an attitude of in like a lamb, so I decided to drop everything on my agenda and head to the park to meet Poppa for some sunshine and subway sandwiches.

I get tickled at this sweet barrette in her hair. So soft and quiet, but proves it's point with subtlety.

Just because the grass is still very dead, does not mean I won't try to rock the silver ruffle flats.

Somehow brilliant blue skies liven up even the most pitiful of tree branches. Don't you think?

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad!

Buzzing around town with the windows down, Sheryl crow blasting, singing if it makes you happy at the top of my lungs; all while wearing an obnoxiously bright orange shirt and Sookie channels her inner punky brewster for the day. You would think it was 70 or so, but no...all this inspired by 55 ish degrees of spring tease.

If my little sugar bean falls asleep while we are out running errands, one of my outlets lately is driving around and finding a pretty parking lot (yes, there is such a thing) and just turning the car off to write on my phone for a bit while she naps quietly in the back. It's small and silly, but it really does recharge my spirit. I loved the view I found yesterday.

I want to end with a cliche, "take a little time to enjoy your view"...but I'll refrain.

Hugs and warm weather kisses instead.

Happy And Good

I made up a silly song to sing to Sookie (wow, that is a tongue twister!) when she is upset. It goes something like this:

everything is happy and good!
happy and good!
happy and good!
...in this house

There are also other verses that replace "house" with "in my life" and "in this world".

Yes, I am quite the poetic songstress. I am well aware. I'll accept my Grammy now thank you.

Speaking of Grammy's... American Idol tonight reminded me how much I adore Steven Tyler. I have loved him forever and a day. I met him when I was 17. It was during an incredibly scary time health wise. I won't start with an intricate list of depressing details, but I had a PICC line in my arm at the time. He was exceedingly sweet to me. So sweet in fact, we have a joke in my family now that the reason he was outrageously kind is because he is my "real" dad. Of course, this has absolutely no merit, but I think it is funny. My dad does too. I have to say, my dad is the most wonderful man ever and I have a stellar relationship with him.

Sookie weighs about 18 pounds. This is giant to me. I realize this is still little for her age, but wow she seems so big. I love it. Considering she was 5 pounds when we brought her home. And to think back to the day when she was the size of a sesame seed in my body. The human body is such a marvel.

She said Target today. Twice. I kid you not. Perhaps I take her there too often?

She also picked up Daddy's green guitar pick and pretended to comb her hair with it. I giggled like a little girl in pig tails with a rainbow swirled sucker.

Today was an in your face reminder how achingly sweet life is. I hold onto days like today. The sun actually came out to remind us of all the beauty that is present every single minute. There were kisses from Sookie I have dreamed of my whole life; they were a million times more blissful smashed right up against reality. There was laughter from her soft little mouth that was so perfect, it took me right back to the day she was born and that impeccable feeling of every capillary in body bursting with the deepest peace I have ever known.

I'm looking up and ahead, up towards everything this flourishing year holds, ahead to Sookie's first birthday, Valentine's Day, Sookie's first trip to New York. But I'm also firmly planting my feet in the now, in things such as the preparation for her party, the simple act of having a quiet afternoon of play time with her; so as not to miss any of the pieces of brilliance suspended in the moment.