03 May 2013

she has trouble acting normal when she's nervous

You have no idea how long I've been waiting to use that subject line for a blog post. (wink) It is day 3 of blog every day in May, and...I'm already behind. Ha. It is all good. I will catch up tomorrow because I'm particularly and thrilled to tackle the idea prompt for yesterday that I missed. (It is to educate people on something you know a lot about.)

Today's idea prompt is, things that make you uncomfortable. OH gosh. So much makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I'm a little bit of a mess.

I can definitely be an incredibly shy person, especially around people I don't know. I've come to realize over the last several years, that the core of my personality is having this intense need to be heard, to be understood. I feel like the older I get, the more I simply want to be heard. Even if you don't like me, if you've heard my story, that is kind of all I concern myself with. I'm exhausted so I have no idea if this makes sense. Ha. Perhaps maybe it does to someone else though. My great grandma (I was named after her) was an extremely blunt woman, at a time when it wasn't very socially acceptable to be. I feel like I'm more comfortable with being open, the older I get. I tend to get nervous when people skim the surface with each other and don't want to delve deeper into the real stuff.

I adore this quote from Glennon Melton in Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed.

"I started writing a few months later, so that I could tell my truth recklessly to more people. 
After reading a few of my essays, my dad, Bubba, called and said, 
"Glennon. Don't you think there are some things you should take to the grave?" 
I thought hard for a moment and said, "No, I really don't. That sounds horrible to me. I don't want to take anything to the grave. I want to die used up and emptied out. 
I don't want to carry around anything that I don't have to. I want to travel light."

I suppose the simple answer to the "what makes you uncomfortable?" prompt is that I am uncomfortable, nervous even, when I'm not expressing myself, when I'm not writing, when I'm not being messy and truthful and open about life.


  1. Great blog, and great post, I completely agree. Lots make me nervous!

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  2. I totally feel the same way! And I love this quote...I wish I were better at expressing myself, but sometimes it freaks me out to be so open...

    Thanks for blog comment, btw =)