my girl.

she has been in this world for over 20 months now, making it brighter every day. & yet i still can't grasp the enormity of the fact she is mine. ours.

i love waking up to her chants of "mommy mommy mommy".


i'd like to think i've done a stellar job of earning two new mommy badges in the past couple of weeks. one? balancing her 19 pound person on my hip while applying mascara with my other hand. now that? that takes talent folks. two? changing a poopy diaper in a bathroom stall with no available changing station; forcing us to be experts at improvisation and coaxing mommy to take a deep breath and dive right in. for the record, she was an absolute angel and such a good sport. she stood up, somewhat still (like she knew i really needed her cooperation at a time like this) and let me wipe her all clean, just like the little champ that she is. but oh my, it is slightly comical at how high my stress levels rose at something so silly, when there are much bigger life worries my heart needs to attend to right now.


i've been pondering the question of quality versus quantity of life lately. alright, who am i kidding? it is a war that rages in my heart and heart on a daily basis. especially more so these days in light of my upcoming trip to NIH (National Institute of Health) next month. i have focused so much on never letting my health affect her life, but sometimes it does. sometimes we miss story time because i am too nauseous to be more than a 10 second sprint away from the bathroom. and i have to accept that. it is all a part of fiercely loving myself and embracing where i am; where we are as our little family of 3.


her laughter is a song so precious i want to crawl inside of it and live for infinity.


she eats tomatoes like apples these days; they are fresh and vibrant from poppa's garden and she bites into them with no apologies, juice cascading down her chin. she approaches life in this very same way. living out loud. so in tune with her inner self that the beauty of it makes me ache.


she also likes to eat dirt lately.

i'm so in love with her toddlerhood inquisitiveness, her fiery stubbornness to hold steadfast to what she wants, the way that lately, when she wants something, she simply grabs my hand to lead me there.


oh baby girl, i will follow you wherever you want to go.
always & forever.