To My Daughter On Her 1st Birthday

Sweet Girl,

You stole my heart the second I saw the digital "pregnant" reading on the test; even though every ounce of my being was petrified of the journey and the trailblazing it would entail in order to get to meet you. I knew you were brave enough to make it all the way to our arms, I just hoped against all rational hope that I was as well.

I knew this day was coming, I knew the past year would fly by, but I had no idea how fast. I promised myself I wouldn't be sad that you were growing up, but instead feel the utmost gratitude that despite our obstacles, you are healthy; you are able to blossom, thrive, change, and learn; when there are so many little angel babies who do not live to see their 1st birthday.

This year has been the quickest of my life. I look back and see a blur of daddy cutting your cord, holding your hand for the first time, fighting with everything I had to breastfeed you, even if it was against medical advice, I wanted to give you the best start possible,  your first taste of a lemon (which you utterly enjoyed), your  frightening visit to the pediatric cardiologist, our first road trip as a family to Idaho to see Aunt Mindy, summer walks with you and Jack, you laughing in your sleep, those seconds when you lock eyes with mine and you let me know you've been our destiny all along.

During our time together that we have already been blessed with, you have taught me more than anyone else ever has. You have introduced me to an entirely fresh facet of love. Your first cry was the most beautiful sound my ears have ever basked in. I ached to hold you and never let you go, but I knew that your heart needed to be looked over first.
 
I didn't think it was possible, but I am more thankful for you today than I was on the day you were born. The more I learn, the more I read, the more I slowly grasp how remarkable the fact is you are here today. It doesn't make medical sense, but you are HERE. You are breathing, growing, loving, teasing, laughing, living proof that impossible is just an opinion if doctors who don't see the beauty and sheer thrill of overcoming the odds.

You have made me consider big things this year. You've taught me how to truly laugh again. You have stretched my heart to the limit where I had no choice but to BELIEVE again and surrender to the magic that is tangled up in every single minute.

You inspire me to be the best version of myself, to love deeper, to take more chances, to live with reckless abandon, to walk through each day with a good dose of wonder and whimsy. I want to teach you so many things. I want to lead the way for you in your fabulous little life.