Awakening & Sweet Nella's ONEder Fund

Life is good. Life is beautiful. Life is magical.

My life is good. My life is beautiful. My life is magical. I know these things deep down, I wish I didn't ever start to drift from them and get caught up in things that really don't matter or the really big, scary things on my mind lately. Namely, my health. After Sookie was born and after my 6 week postpartum appointment, when I knew my transplanted kidney had survived pregnancy and labor, I entered a strange head space and attitude toward my health. I tend to do this sometimes. I'm not proud of it but it was as though I felt Sookie was okay, nothing else mattered. It is draining, year after year, to put up with doctors who don't listen to me or value my knowledge of my own body. This gallbladder ordeal is frustrating to say the least. I have a group of doctors telling me one thing, more saying the complete opposite. I miss eating. I've lost all of my baby weight and then some. I'm constantly hungry.

The thing is, I simply don't feel surgery is a good option for me right now, no matter how many times certain people tell me it is the only way. I'm still recovering from a pregnancy I was never supposed to go through.  I don't feel surgery will aid in this process of healing. Also, something that further complicates this mess is that I've been told I'm not a good candidate for laproscopic surgery because of my kidney transplant.

However, I'm turning a corner in all of this. No, I don't know why it has taken me this long to realize I need to put my foot down. I have grander things to do, more of me to create, plans for my family, my girl, my future. Basically, I'm not going to take "We don't know why you are in pain." for an answer any more. Yes, some of it is a gallstone that is too big to pass, but there is other stuff going on that has no explanation and I'm beyond tired of dealing with all this pain. I deserve better. I deserve a much better quality of life than I have been settling for the past year. I have a big life to live and a magnificent little baby doll of a gal to take care of and have endless tea parties with.

Speaking of being empowered.

There is a magical, inspiring, goddess of a woman named Kelle Hampton She lived out one of my worst fears last year when she gave birth to a precious baby girl who unexpectedly had Down Syndrome. She knew before the official diagnosis came. She wrote a story about the birth with brutal honesty that not many people are capable of. She grieved the loss of normalcy she was so excited to live out with her two amazing girls. (And honestly, I'm sure she still does. Grief is a circle; I know that far too well.) She sobbed for hours.

Then she picked herself up, found support, and started making things happen.

Baby Nella is turning ONE on January 22nd and to celebrate her incredible life, Kelle has started Nella's ONEder Fund in her honor. All funds raised will go to the National Down Syndrome Society. You can read more about this big deal HERE.

Well of course I wanted to do my part so from now until January 27th, I am donating 40% of my sales from my Stella & Dot business directly to Nella's ONEder Fund. It is a brilliant combination of geniunely making a difference and picking up some beautiful to jewelry to wear as well.

To help me keep track of orders, this is what YOU can do. Yes, you.

Go to my Stella & Dot website here, http://stelladot.com/tahnie Next, in the upper right hand corner, underneath StyleWatch, there is a link that says 'Can't make it to the trunk show? Find your hostess' click on that.You will then put in Nella's ONEder Fund for the hostess information. Nella's for the first name and ONEder Fund for the last, click search. Go ahead and click on Nella's ONEder Fund, click continue and shop!

Please pass this along on facebook, twitter, your blogs, etc. This is a chance to be a part of something so much bigger than anything we can do alone. 

Appreciation

I had many grand plans for this summer; my first summer as a mommy. It feels so crazy to say/type that! My first summer as a mommy... Some of these plans I have been able to see through, but it has been a little bit of a struggle along the way. Don't get me wrong, I know how lucky we are to have our girl here with us and that I have been blessed with staying home with her for these 7 months. It is incredible to me that everything has happened the way it has and that she is healthy. I am so grateful for her health. It is okay if I have my own to deal with because that is something I should be used to after 26 years of it, but I am just beyond in awe that she is doing so well. But it is hard enough to be a mom and even more so when you are taking care of yourself and trying to make sure your health is steady.

I've been in pain a lot of this summer. I'm still not entirely convinced that gallstones are the only culprit. I'm seeing some different doctors and asking for lots of opinions on this one. I have learned over the years that sometimes you have to ask a million questions and do most of the work yourself when it comes to health care. It has been frustrating and I was getting really sad about the whole situation, when it hit me that I am being really self righteous.

So soon after being handed the biggest miracle of my life, I'm expecting everything to go my way still, for my body to magically be a different one, for my health to all of a sudden be perfect at the snap of my fingers. Well it doesn't work that way and this morning it was like an invisible smack upside the head for me to calm down and take a deep breath. Yes, this summer has been tough in some aspects, but it has been exquisitely wonderful as well to watch my little girl learn to sit up by herself, to crawl, to discover the joys of food, to realize her toes are indeed her own. Yes, I'm eager to find out what is going on with me and find a solution, but I can't expect everything else to be perfect just because we received our miracle.

I'm somewhat ashamed for turning into such a greedy person. It is a strange phenomenon though; once you see and experience what you only ever thought was impossible, you start to dream big, really big and it is difficult to hold yourself back and stay in touch with reality. Your mind and heart start scheming together and wonder what else you could accomplish when given the opportunity. I need to go back to simply being in crazy love and filled with gratitude for the ultimate gift from my body. To remember every day what a marathon every minute of the pregnancy was and that it is going to take some time for me to recover physically. I can't do everything on my to do list every day, my house won't be spotless, but my baby will be happy and most days I might need to take a nap instead of putting laundry away, making bottles, or doing dishes. Even if it is worst case scenario and all down hill from here health wise, my body has been through so much and yet still somehow found the strength to not only create, but sustain another human.

And that is just priceless.