By God, There Will Be Dancing.

The past few weeks I've been struggling. The heat, it does a number on me. My body cannot self regulate my inner temperature and so five days of 100 degree plus temperatures is enough to cause serious havoc. Even if I'm simply outside for 15 minutes. Health related stress and worries, like growing impatient for experimental studies to be approved for growth hormone treatment for muscle wasting. I want to try anything, because at this point in my life...I know what happens if I don't. I'm ready and willing to take huge risks and see what could possibly help or slow down the progression. Rory is absolutely outstanding and has been working insane hours revamping his most popular app. It has all kind of twisted together to create the perfect storm and I'm in a little bit of a funk. I've always approached honesty and hardship with a tell it like it is kind of attitude. And perhaps that isn't the best way to go about living one's life, however I feel like there is such power in the truth, no matter how messy.

Sometimes people I've never met sneak into the chambers of my heart, read the writing all over, and say what I ache to say. The following is an excerpt from Glennon Melton's INCREDIBLE book, Carry On Warrior. It completely shattered me and lifted me up...in the most gorgeous way possible.

  

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God keeps knitting. Then she smiles and holds her stitch for a moment. She looks up at me with her soft crinkly eyes and she says:

Honey. You are so angry. I understand. I love you so much. Would you like me to stop knitting so that we can talk about all of this?
I think for a minute and look at her knitting in her lap. I gaze at the part that's done. It's breathtaking. All blue and green and hot pink and gold and silver. At first the colors seem to swirl wildly but then, suddenly, I recognize a pattern. The pattern is me. I am beautiful. Swirly, wild, and beautiful.

No, I say. Don't stop. Keep knitting.

Because she is knitting my life, of course. I am what her hands are working on. And I want her to concentrate. I still trust her.

God? I say. I'm going to dance. While you knit, I'm just going to dance.

God looks up one last time and says:
That's all I've ever wanted you to do, Sweetheart. You dance and I'll keep knitting. It's going to be beautiful, Honey. I promise.