living under june

We had an unbirthday party yesterday. Cakes, candles, singing, clapping. Why? Well, life is short...and we could. I think that needs to be my new motto for decision making, no matter how big or small. Because we can. It was a welcome distraction from silly hang ups I was experiencing throughout the day. Bringing the reminder sometimes to get through obstacles you need to step outside of them for a few minutes.

When she was finally sleeping last night, (15 hours of being wide awake, running circles around this exhausted momma) I took a deep breath and rested my hand on her stomach. With every rise and fall of her abdomen I silently sifted through the last 4 years of memories. The roller coaster, the journey, the unknown, and the sweet, sweet victories. This time of year rushes in so many highly charged emotions; the first week of June is the big Cystinosis fundraiser Golf Tournament held in my honor and Rory's birthday. In addition to both of those significant dates, it was four years ago when a positive pregnancy test changed everything. Most of all, the rules. I knew I might not survive the nine months of carrying her, but honestly...I was simply ecstatic to give life. It was a privilege I did not think was part of my story. Only to find out, it would be the beginning of the most lesson laden adventure I've ever been on.

Right now I think I could easily write twenty blog posts solely about my health concerns and worries. I don't want to dwell on any of it though. I want to put my energy into what I can do now. What memories I can make today. The stories our incredible little lady concocts in her vivid imagination. The grass is greener where you water it, right?