Now

A year ago was a hard weekend for me. I cry just thinking about it. Yes there was hope in the air, but I felt so alone. I was more scared than I ever have been in my life. I was beyond exhausted, I was to be induced despite my gut feeling about it all; but what do you do when your health is in danger? Lose a kidney you worked so hard to maintain the function of? Apparently you try to make deals with your inner hippie who is screaming at you to avoid pitocin at all costs.

For the record, I should have listened to her.

But losing a kidney to avoid pitocin just doesn't compute, no matter how evil the stuff is.

I'm finally putting the finishing touches on Sookie's birth story. It has been an obstacle, because I am what my cousin Nicole refers to as "a labor grinch". It has been healing too though. I know labor is such an unpredictable event, but the complete loss of control is what I still grapple with.

Moving on.

This weekend has been laughter, love, and light. So much light, I'm a little blinded by it.

It has been R coming home from work early on Friday, stolen moments of reconnecting with those two crazy kids we were 4 and a half years ago when we first fell for each other, yummy Chinese food that didn't give me a gallbladder attack, for which I am incredibly grateful for. It has been the anticipation of new lives joining this crazy beautiful world; two little guys, one on the Boyer side, one on the Hampton side. Sing-a-ma-jigs, lots if them. Sookie was equal parts intrigued and terrified by them. A fun girls day with my Momma and the girl who made me a Momma. Oodles upon oodles of pink and purple candy invading every corner of our house in preparation for her big party next weekend. Sookie showing off her hula hoop skills. Laundry made anything but mundane with the assistance of R singing 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' while Sookie and Jack find endless enjoyment in a down comforter just out of the dryer.

If you could see the inside of my heart, it would look like this:

We've raised $655 for Cystinosis so far. I am so thrilled! Keep spreading the WORD.
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